Number 4...(part 3)

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible because I have grown tired of writing about the same boy (real men don't cheat) over and over again.

I got over him a long time ago but I really think this series extinguished any possible phoenix of feelings that could have risen from the ashes of our horrible romance.

He doesn't seem to be real anymore. He seems like a moment or a plethora of moments that I once experienced and are now on an island in my mind, slowly being forgotten (you know, like inside out).

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After we broke up, we had a fight or two. I remember that my heart felt like it was being choked that day. Remembering the things we argued about makes me feel so stupid so I refuse to elaborate. Honestly, I can't remember much. What I do remember is that he blocked me after that on insta.

He kept blocking and unblocking me. It was a classic carrot and stick scenario. He'd say something sweet, talk for a while and then gbam, he disappears like aang when I need him the most.

After our break up, there was no friend I didn't talk to him about. I was so pathetic, ololololo but it is well. One of my friends kept telling me that going back to an ex that did you dirty is like eating vomit and I wish I had listened to her because no be lie mehn.

Eventually, someone else slid into my dms but little did I know that this was number 4’s guy. They were and still are very close. I felt weird about starting anything with him but when he found out number 4 and I used to be together he asked number 4 if it was okay to advance (I know, crazy) and sent me a screenshot (even crazier) so I threw caution to the wind.

We started talking but I didn't think much of it and slowly the day I had come to dread was approaching - resumption day.

I didn't know if I could handle people's knowing eyes, gossip hungry ears and insult throwing lips. I was so scared that if enter class and be mauled by everyone, asking if number 4 and I were actually broken up. And of course something similar happened but it was not as bad as I feared.

Also, why do people feel the need to know who ended things? Like hello get down. I don't even know you. The last time we talked was when you were begging me to swap seats with you so you could use your phone to cheat during exams. Who do you think you are abeg? (This may or may not be targeted).

I was also scared of seeing him because although we were technically over I still loved him and I didn't know how I'd react to seeing him again.

Also, he had apparently gone on a rant to my best friend who he has known for like 6 - 7 years and used to be pretty tight but now not so much. They're still “guys” though.

He told him he broke up with me because I was fake and two faced. Apparently I'm made in China AND a Hyde. I really AM multi talented, damn it.

Omo, after that one gave me headache I still melted for him o, ololololo. My heart was his merry go round he played with for free and I let him.

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Ladies and XY chromosomes, the only thing worse than finding out there's another woman is being the other woman.

I low-key highkey felt like a slut but in the wise words of Vanessa from Entergalactic “the heart wants what the heart wants but the punani needs what the punani needs”.

Anywho, I'm honestly not into rewinding and delving into all the things that happened but we were still hooking up. Up until the 28 of December, 2024.

He asked me to come see him. I knew it was a bad idea yet I agreed. That was really stupid because then I wasn't even allowed to take the trash out by my self. The trash, guys.

But somehow I got my way. I begged my parents, telling them I was going to see Kanyin (who lives close to him, remember). My dad dropped me off at her place and we spent some time with each other then I went to see him. Most of the conversation I had with both of them was gist they got from ballmania which happened a day before. Apparently, number 4 got to meet Mavo, loll.

We went to this place where most Magodo teens hang out and “chilled” then he proceed to take me to a TOILET and started analyzing my anatomy.

I can't believe Oluchi entered that toilet with him on. It was a first to be honest. In all of the degrading things I had done with him before that day, I had never entered a toilet with him.

To be fair, the bathroom was really clean. It even had AC😭. I was even shivering. The owner knows what he's doing abeg because as how nau.

Oh and by the way, the ex manager is a pedo but that's a story for another day.

I sucked the living day light from him. His irises even disappeared to the back of his skull. I faked moans for his satisfaction and made a show of my faux pleasure. He didn't suspect I didn't enjoy it though. I probably felt only 15 seconds of pleasure during that entire time but such are the sufferings of my former self. Now, I no too send anybody loll.

He then proceeded to ask me, A girl with a phone , whether I was okay with him inserting himself in me.

Na so I confuse too my sister

EXCUSE ME?!

I mean shi, I haven't really thought of how my first time is going to be but I sure didn't want it to be on a TOILET SEAT!

Bro was a complete cockwomble.

When I declined he had the niggacity, the effrontry to say “Please, I can do it from the back. That doesn't count as actual sex ‘cause you'll still be a virgin*.

Na so laughter and shame wan wound me🤣🤣🤣

Ehen? So na so dem dey look me?

That was what I was thinking but instead of taking him seriously I just continued sucking my veiny lollipop and that session came to an abrupt end.

Later that day, he came to me and told me that his girlfriend found out about us from Kanyin. She had broken up with him and he was sulking to me. I apologized. I apologized and I felt suck because his girlfriend (or ex, whatever) had more self respect than me and ended things when he found out he was cheating (jokes on her because they eventually got back together).

Thst was the day I decided that I would never be involved with him sexually ever again.

Since then, he has confessed his “feelings” to me off and on. I can confidently count up to four times but it has definetly been more than that.

In fact, he and I had a long talk THIS MONTH which mostly consisted of apologies, praises and manipulative wordplay from him. I sat through all of it with a smile because I thought it would make an awesome substack post but I don't think I want to get into it anymore.

All in all, the moral of the lesson is that love doesnt break people's hearts, people do. The sooner you accept that the better.

I hope he's alright though. I hope he's smoking less and living more. And I hope he can atone to the universe for all the lives he's messed with. Most of all, I wish him suffering. Not too much, just however much suffering his inflicted on others multiplied by two.

Maybe he should give an offering to Lilith. If you don't get this reference then you obviously haven't read the Genesis trilogy. Your loss.